if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
