Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
