dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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