We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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