Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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