Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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