OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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