i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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