He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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