**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Screwed.edu
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
