naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
