So drunk its hurt
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
