She's JV to your varsity
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
