Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize