my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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