I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
