We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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