The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Text me some of your sweat
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
