I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
