Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
