I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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