escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im six kinds of drunk right now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
