To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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