: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
