I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
