Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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