Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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