I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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