Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
