Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize