She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
