He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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