i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
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This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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