She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
