I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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