You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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