I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
