trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
