This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
