Dual....:-)
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We got so high we made milksteak
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I love you. Go after that dick
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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