Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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