i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
