tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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