He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
