Screwed.edu
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
