Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You smell like a Billy Joel song
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
