I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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