Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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