That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
