So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
