he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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