I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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