Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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