Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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