someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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