Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
