Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
