i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
