he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
