the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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