This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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