i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
