I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
