Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
