I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
COCAINE IS GR8
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
