guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
