what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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